CAS
Psychological abuse
- Psychological abuse is when someone uses words or behaviours to make you question your feelings, memories, or perception of reality to control or isolate you. Over time, this can harm your confidence and sense of self-worth.
- When it is committed by an intimate partner or family member, it is a type of domestic and family violence
- It happens when someone says or does things on purpose to hurt or upset you
- It can make you feel bad about yourself and reduce your confidence and independence
- If you or someone you know is experiencing psychological abuse, you can call 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732, text 0458 737 732 or visit our website for online chat and video call services – available 24/7.
What is psychological abuse?
Psychological abuse happens when someone repeatedly causes you mental harm. It can make you feel scared, confused or worthless.
Psychological abuse can start off slowly. It may begin with someone saying or doing things to make you feel bad. The behaviour may happen again and again. Over time, the behaviour can become more frequent and more intense.
If someone is psychologically abusing you, it is not okay, and it is never your fault.
Psychological abuse can include someone regularly:
- Trying to control your thoughts, feelings or decisions by telling you what you should believe
- Spreading rumours to isolate you from others
- Constantly criticising your choices, behaviours or appearance
- Yelling or swearing at you, insulting you, or calling you names
- Threatening to hurt you, your children, pets, or people you care about
- Treating you badly because of your identity, including religion, culture, disability, gender or sexuality
- Stopping you from seeing family and friends
- Ignoring you or pretending you do not exist
- Monitoring your phone or location without your consent
- Controlling how you spend your money. This is also known as financial abuse
- Constantly correcting or criticising what you say to make you feel foolish
- Deliberately hiding information, giving misleading information, or constantly changing instructions to confuse you. This is also known as gaslighting.
You may also experience other types of abuse at the same time. This can include physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional abuse, religious abuse, financial abuse or spiritual abuse. When there is a pattern of abusive behaviours used to control or isolate you, this could be referred to as coercive control, which is a common form of domestic and family violence. Psychological abuse is a core component of coercive control, where abusive behaviours are used to weaken a person’s independence, confidence and sense of reality https://1800respect.org.au/violence-and-abuse/domestic-and-family-violence/about
These examples of abuse can affect your wellbeing in many ways including:
- You feel less confident
- You feel like you are walking on eggshells
- You have a hard time making decisions
When someone hurts you on purpose, it is abuse.
Which relationships can psychological abuse occur in?
Psychological abuse can happen in any relationship. The person using the abuse may be:
- A boyfriend, girlfriend, partner, husband or wife
- An ex-boyfriend, ex-girlfriend, ex-partner, ex-husband or ex-wife
- A carer or paid support worker
- A parent, guardian or other family members
- An adult child
- Someone you live with or see regularly.
No one has the right to scare, control or isolate you. If you or someone you know is experiencing psychological abuse, it is okay to ask for help.
Experiencing domestic, family and sexual violence can affect your mental health and wellbeing. Support is available. You can contact 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732, text 0458 737 732 or visit our website for online chat and video call services – available 24/7.
